"We leave something of ourselves behind when we leave a place. We stay there, even though we go away, and there are things in us that can only be found by going back there." Pascal Mercier
Here I sit, on the last Sunday night before I leave Houston, writing individual letters to 160+ students I will have to say goodbye to over the next two days.
As I sit here, thinking of how to personalize every message to every student, I am overwhelmed with the prospect of saying goodbye. Since I was little, I have yearned to live in the middle of a city. I ached to explore small stores and coffee shops. Houston has not failed on any of those fronts. Yet that is not the reason I am overwhelmed with the prospect of saying goodbye. I am overwhelmed because each student I have had the pleasure to interact with has taught me something new. Each student has given me the privilege of knowing them.
This was my first true full-time experience in a classroom, and the more time I spent in this classroom the more wondered at my ignorance. Location will never be the only factor in determining happiness and success in the classroom. Every place I teach will offer unique students who are all struggling with something. The location for teaching matters far less to me than I ever realized it would. Every place will have struggling students. Every place will allow me to foster relationships and instill a belief in my students. In every classroom I can make my students feel valued.
Though these students technically belong to another teacher, they are very much also mine. I have laughed with them, attended their volleyball games, football games, watched them play in the marching band. I have listened to them tell me how much they love reading manga, how much they love cars, going to car meets, and how fishing is a relief for them. They have created raps with original beats, they have written letters, and they have greeted me with endless smiles.
A part of my heart will stay with these students long after I leave Houston, and I hope they succeed. I hope they go on to become doctors, lawyers, mechanics, pilots, and much more. I hope they realize their value whenever they walk into a classroom, regardless of what their test scores are. They teach me something every day I walk into the classroom and they bring their own knowledge to every lesson I teach. It is such a reciprocal process that I couldn't imagine thinking they have nothing to offer.
Most of my experience has only made me impatient to work in my own classroom where I set routines, standards, and expectations. However, I am still learning. I will constantly be learning for the rest of my life. In fact, I have had some of the most difficult challenges while in my classroom. When do I discipline? What battles are worth picking? How can I convey the information they need in the best way possible? I have had lessons where, in the middle of teaching them, I know I need to adjust because I simply didn't think of how to meet student needs.
Luckily, I have the rest of my career to figure out the details. Every moment and every experience is an opportunity for me to improve.